Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.

Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”

“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”

“How about me?”

He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”

She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.

“Your wife.

"Bedtime Story", Jeffrey Whitmore (via talesofnorth)

omnbvc:

i am demisexual meaning i am only attracted to those born of gods or who are themselves a diety. move out of the way assholes, i’m gonna fuck zeus

twinkjared:

Friendly reminder that for the SPN season five premier, luciferiscoming trended worldwide, and P. Diddy freaked the fuck out and thought Satanists were coming onto Twitter, so he got the tag banned and trended godishere in response.

Please, you couldn’t handle it.

when a new ios version came out and i deleted all of my music to make space to update (biggest regret) i started just listening to 8tracks. 

and now that i no longer have my iphone and can put my music on my phone again i dont remember what i like unless its in an 8track playlist and also i am no longer using the laptop i was back then so i am sitting here with nothing. help. 

me: I'm pretty sure I would marry every single Avenger.
obnoxious friend: Black Widow is an Avenger.
me: Did I fucking stutter?

hazelrace:

looking for your url in a follow forever by a person you’ve never heard of before

fancypancakes:

you cant come back from that

I LOOKED IT UP AND I AM VERY AFRAID

no honestly. a classic. im watching it now and. its even better when im not a kid. and get some of the jokes. 

waht

do you not remember that show. it was classic. 

it was so good i don’t even care tbh

discovered the dinosaurs on netflix. i ….good. 

watch gbf i just watched it last night altho u may not like it…

literally just watched it and i am 100% ashamed on how much i loved it. 

what should i watch on netflix. i have both the uk and the american version. 

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pohroro